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Emotional Intelligence and Relationships

" For top management, emotional intelligence is about 85 to 90 percent of what sets superior leaders apart from average.' - Daniel Coleman, Author

'It's the quality of our relationships across our differences that directly affects an organization's performance related energy.' - Lewis Griggs, Author

Q & A With Creator of 'EQ'

From San Francisco Chronicle 10/29/98
By Ilana DeBare

Daniel Goleman is the author of the best-selling book "Emotional Intelligence," which popularized the idea that emotional skills are as important to people's success in life as their IQ. Goleman now has written a new book, "Working with Emotional Intelligence," that claims American companies are wasting $10 billion a year on poorly designed training programs because they don't understand the way emotional intelligence really works. A former science reporter with a doctorate in psychology from Harvard, Goleman recently spoke with The Chronicle.

(Excerpts)

"Emotional intelligence doesn't just mean being nice...It means being intelligent about emotions-a different way of being smart. Basically, emotional intelligence refers to how well we manage ourselves and our relationships." (Valuing Relationship Series)

There are five parts to that. One is knowing what you're feeling. The second is managing your feelings, especially distressing feelings. Third is motivation, the fourth is empathy and the fifth is social skills.

 

Q: Is emotional intelligence the same as what used to be called "soft skills"?

A: Yes. But we now have a hard definition of soft skills...Many of the training programs in soft skills are very misguided. They use the wrong model of learning, which doesn't take into account the difference in how the emotional brain works. The emotional brain needs a lot of practice. It's very primitive. It's not going to "get it" from a self-help book.

Q: ...have the particular skills needed for success at work changed over time? Does a successful manager in 1998 use the same skills that his or her father used in 1958?

A: The core of my new book is analysis of proprietary studies from 121 companies, in which they looked at what sets a superior leader apart from average. Compare them to similar lists 20 years ago, and several competencies emerge as more important- adapting to change, (Human Energy At Work and Valuing Relationship Series) team work, and leveraging diversity, (Valuing Diversity video Series and No Potential Lost), which means being able to work in a superior way with people different from yourself.

These studies also show that emotional-intelligence-based skills are twice as important as IQ and technical skills combined, when you analyze the ingredients in superior performance. The higher you go in an organization, the more significant they become. For top management, emotional intelligence is about 85 to 90 percent of what sets superior leaders apart from average.

 

Q: Is emotional intelligence necessary in technical jobs?...

A: ...You have to have a technical IQ high enough to have mastered the technical skills of the people you're going to lead. But it's your social skills that will make you able to inspire, motivate and direct them....

..."once you explain emotional intelligence to people, they've only gotten why they need to practice it. Then they need months of practice in the situation where it matters. This kind of learning is learned best if people have extended support in practice- not just rehearsal for doing it on the job, but actually doing it on the job."

'It's the quality of our relationships across our differences that directly affects an organization's performance related energy'

Contact Griggs Productions for products and services that are designed to enhance competencies that contribute to creating emotional intelligence and which have emerged as most important in being a leader - empathy, adapting to change, teamwork, and leveraging diversity, which means being able to work in a superior way with people different from yourself.

More than anything, it's the quality of our relationships across our differences that directly affects an organization's performance related energy source of creativity, effectiveness, and ultimate survival. When performance-related energy is wasted on depleting patterns such as diversity noise (racism, sexism, bias, discrimination), depleting work relationships (control, lying, manipulation), or cultural misunderstandings (due to different cultural dictates, realities and experiences), the potential of people is lost and the organization loses as well.

Griggs Productions helps organizations value and lead with differences and build effective relationships across differences. Skills include empathy, appropriate feedback, listening, leveraging diversity, team work, cross-cultural communication skills and managing change. Let us help you prepare for the increasingly multi-cultural global workplace. Index of Training Themes

 

 

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