Intelligence and Relationships
" For top management, emotional intelligence is about 85 to 90 percent
of what sets superior leaders apart from average.' - Daniel Coleman,
'It's the quality of our relationships across our differences that
directly affects an organization's performance related energy.' - Lewis
A With Creator of 'EQ'
From San Francisco Chronicle 10/29/98
By Ilana DeBare
Daniel Goleman is the author of the best-selling book "Emotional Intelligence,"
which popularized the idea that emotional skills are as important to people's
success in life as their IQ. Goleman now has written a new book, "Working
with Emotional Intelligence," that claims American companies are wasting
$10 billion a year on poorly designed training programs because they don't
understand the way emotional intelligence really works. A former science reporter
with a doctorate in psychology from Harvard, Goleman recently spoke with The
"Emotional intelligence doesn't just mean being nice...It means being
intelligent about emotions-a different way of being smart. Basically, emotional
intelligence refers to how well we manage ourselves and our relationships."
(Valuing Relationship Series)
There are five parts to that. One is knowing what you're feeling. The second
is managing your feelings, especially distressing feelings. Third is motivation,
the fourth is empathy and the fifth is social skills.
Q: Is emotional intelligence the same as what used to be called "soft
A: Yes. But we now have a hard definition of soft skills...Many of
the training programs in soft skills are very misguided. They use the wrong
model of learning, which doesn't take into account the difference in how the
emotional brain works. The emotional brain needs a lot of practice. It's very
primitive. It's not going to "get it" from a self-help book.
Q: ...have the particular skills needed for success at work changed
over time? Does a successful manager in 1998 use the same skills that his
or her father used in 1958?
A: The core of my new book is analysis of proprietary studies from
121 companies, in which they looked at what sets a superior leader apart from
average. Compare them to similar lists 20 years ago, and several competencies
emerge as more important- adapting to change, (Human
Energy At Work and Valuing Relationship
Series) team work, and leveraging diversity, (Valuing
Diversity video Series and No Potential
Lost), which means being able to work in a superior way with people different
These studies also show that emotional-intelligence-based skills are twice
as important as IQ and technical skills combined, when you analyze the ingredients
in superior performance. The higher you go in an organization, the more significant
they become. For top management, emotional intelligence is about 85 to 90
percent of what sets superior leaders apart from average.
Q: Is emotional intelligence necessary in technical jobs?...
A: ...You have to have a technical IQ high enough to have mastered
the technical skills of the people you're going to lead. But it's your social
skills that will make you able to inspire, motivate and direct them....
..."once you explain emotional intelligence to people, they've only
gotten why they need to practice it. Then they need months of practice
in the situation where it matters. This kind of learning is learned best if
people have extended support in practice- not just rehearsal for doing it
on the job, but actually doing it on the job."
Contact Griggs Productions for products and
services that are designed to enhance
competencies that contribute to creating emotional intelligence and which
have emerged as most important in being a leader - empathy, adapting to change,
teamwork, and leveraging diversity, which means being able to work in a superior
way with people different from yourself.
More than anything, it's the quality of our relationships across our differences
that directly affects an organization's performance related energy source
of creativity, effectiveness, and ultimate survival. When performance-related
energy is wasted on depleting patterns such as diversity noise (racism, sexism,
bias, discrimination), depleting work relationships (control, lying, manipulation),
or cultural misunderstandings (due to different cultural dictates, realities
and experiences), the potential of people is lost and the organization loses
Griggs Productions helps organizations value and lead with differences and
build effective relationships across differences. Skills include empathy,
appropriate feedback, listening, leveraging diversity, team work, cross-cultural
communication skills and managing change. Let us help you prepare for the
increasingly multi-cultural global workplace. Index
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